Lessons from the orgy tent at Burning Man, why my new novel is being rejected, and how I'm turning a setback into creative momentum, and you can, too —>
As a fellow Burner, there comes a point at every burn where the “breakdown “ happens. Why am I here? Do I belong? Do others find me attractive enough to have random sexual encounters with me? Full disclosure here requires that I must have an emotional or intellectual connection in my random encounters. Not exactly the strength of the MSM community. I struggle each year with reading into the rejection, spiraling inside my head, and forgetting the ten principles, including the one to be present. Your time in the orgy tent was the most accurate description of trying to be present yet being the disengaged observer. I would love to be able to record my burner experience with my mind and the “make art”. I know you do that very well!
Thanks for sharing this! Burning Man is such an intense experience and really reveals the layers of being vulnerable humans—to the weather and to each other. One thing I love about it is being forced to face some of the big questions. This last year I was with a new camp and the most wonderful people. But I was separated from my usual core group because of logistics and weather. So it really was a year that was more a retreat than a party. It felt depressurized in a weird interesting way. And since I didn’t have close friends driving an agenda I felt empowered and it reduced some of my usual anxieties. HA! Just realizing it was a real broken heart to art situation. I was sad my friends weren’t around, but I sure did learn a lot. Excited to see what you learn and explore and experience at your next burn, my friend. Loving you!
This all feels so relatable, Byron! The rejection cycle, but also the lube. Having tasted the rare high of publishing success, to then feel cast out into the creative wilderness without a roadmap to the next destination...it's a very specific isolation. I'm lost in this desert with you and I'm happy to have some good company on the way to the next oasis/orgy tent.
Haha thanks for making me smile my friend. Grateful to be on the journey with you. Your art and insight inspire me!!! Let’s hang again soon and plot our next moves!
Byron, thank you for this first post. As a semi-retired burner myself, fourteen years over the last two decades and longer, I found myself nodding along, recognizing so much of what you’re describing.
The broken heart of rejection is something every artist carries, whether it’s a novel that doesn’t find its publisher, a project that gets sidelined, or an industry that implodes around you (I’ve been navigating that last one lately in my own work in photography and animation). But I’ve always believed that brokenness is part of what makes us artists in the first place. It’s how we learn our own vulnerabilities, understand them more deeply each time we put ourselves out there, and eventually find the corner to go around the wall.
As for enlightenment at Burning Man, I’ve always been skeptical of seeking it in the grand gestures. I’ve had a meditation practice since I was a kid, and the moments that actually changed me on the playa were almost always the smallest ones. Being covered in hundreds of bugs. Sitting alone in the desert at dawn. A storm that destroyed our art project. Seeing it through the eyes of my boyfriend for his first time. The mixing of senses in ways I couldn’t have planned. Maybe that’s what enlightenment actually is, not a destination we should seek but a collection of tiny shifts that accumulate quietly, until one day we notice we’ve changed.
Creativity, consciousness, authenticity, all these feel like different words for the same practice: showing up, staying open, and being willing to be changed by what we find.
I’m grateful you’re building this space. Looking forward to learning alongside everyone here.
Yes and yes. Also yes. You’re brilliant. So with you. Enlightenment can only be now. Never then. And maybe best served in a dropper. We should have our own newsletter—microdosing enlightenment. Thanks for this!
You're such a great storyteller! I hate that so far your new novel has been rejected, but I love that it led to Byrontology for us cult followers. I'm curious if you've ever thought about doing a book of essays, I feel like that's what I'm already getting a glimpse of the possibility of with your writing here.
Donna you’re onto me! I’m be never done essays or memoir. Always fiction. But I love your idea and maybe in a wild world where so much seems fake there’s something special in bits of truth. I’m on it my friend!
Glad I became a Byrontoligist. Even the comments are interesting. I spend so much time working with my kids that I don’t work on myself. I hope I find some inspiration to get to some introspection here. I definitely want to read your Burning Man book. I love your writing. And Christie, WendeJacek and I can’t wait to see your play tonight. Hope to get a chance to say hello. Much love.
Hey friend can’t wait to see you later! So glad you’re here. Let’s inspire each other! I notice all the good you do in the world and I can’t wait to see how it comes back to you!
Thanks Byron. The play was amazing. You guys hit it out of the ballpark. It was an evening of joy and laughter. So good seeing you and Steven. Congratulations!
Great post, Byron! Your story about ending up in the tent reminded me of the time I accidentally attended a rave.
I live in rural Northern California, so when my friend invited me to 'listen to some live music' at the Odd Fellow's Hall, a rave was not exactly what I had in mind. I arrived at the hall, where my teen cousin had been awarded an FFA award the week before, and was confused to find myself surrounded by flashing neon lights, an assortment of leather ensembles, piercings, hoola hoops, and the persistent, lingering smell of weed and patchouli. I was dressed in what I thought would be appropriately, a pair of khaki chinos and a mint green knit polo. I couldn't help but wonder, "How did I get here?"
That said, you learn to find joy in the strangest of situations, and when I tell you that after finding a heavy-duty pair of noise cancelling headphones (politely loaned by the Odd Fellow Hall Manager, who had brought a spare pare), I had a great time. Did I stick out like a mint green thumb? Of course! But I also had very in-depth conversations about life with the most unlikely people and found a swing dance partner who could follow just as well as he leads.
As for broken hearts, mine is still mending. Parents, am I right? They know the worst ways to love you and the best ways to hurt you. As I work through that, though, I seem to continually find bits and pieces of myself that I thought I had lost, so I have to be grateful for that, at least.
Thanks for the post, Byron! Can't wait until next week.
JACOB! Haha this is wild. I love it. The unexpected things are sometimes the most interesting. Aw man. Parents! (And really…. Their parents and their parents and their parents all the way back to the cave dwellers probably. Glad we’re working to try to elevate the chat. Loving you!
I could spout tablets on the spiritualist counter culture that desperately wants exposure and integration but is either too egotistical to let go of the story as only their own, or seeks outwardly for what they claim comes from within. I thought they would be excited to see their worlds expressed, after all it’s supposed to be healing and enlightenment. Too much identification with the culture kept them standing guard at a gate for which there is no key. Seems much like the way the world accepts them, only allow measured doses with sugar coating. Journalist approach is best with a sprinkle of trip report. Looks like what you’ve done here and wishing you the best! Even with leverage from the inside, I found it a difficult shell to crack.
One note on rejection - aren’t the best artists those who are ahead of their time? Keep working your craft, you’ll have things to return to. Blaze ahead!
I love everything about this, Byron! My broken heart is time slipping by, the world burning, and feeling like even when I find time outside of my overemployment to give a shit about something, it doesn’t make a practical difference to improve the big picture. The art is just doing the thing anyway, following the weird ideas that seem so obvious to me, even if I’m the only one who ends up enjoying it. Thank you for sharing the highly relatable NatGeo take on Burning Man! 💦🍫
Rejection and lube-covered hands are both the absolute worst. I'm sorry none of the publishers bit, but I have no doubt it'll find its home eventually. I hate that setback for your though.
I'm constantly tossing personal heartbreak into my work. All those icky inside feelings get tossed in and baked into my books. I've been working on one about a son and his dying mother taking a bucket list road trip, hoping to work through the loss of my mom, but it's been moving really slowly. One day I'll finish it. Today isn't that day, though.
I hope your Burning Man book finds its home one day. No one tells a story like you.
Oh Lance, I relate! Glad you're on the road and being honest about when the timing is right for you. I can't help but feel excited for you that you get icky inside feelings--such gold, so relatable. Glad we're connected :)
As a fellow Burner, there comes a point at every burn where the “breakdown “ happens. Why am I here? Do I belong? Do others find me attractive enough to have random sexual encounters with me? Full disclosure here requires that I must have an emotional or intellectual connection in my random encounters. Not exactly the strength of the MSM community. I struggle each year with reading into the rejection, spiraling inside my head, and forgetting the ten principles, including the one to be present. Your time in the orgy tent was the most accurate description of trying to be present yet being the disengaged observer. I would love to be able to record my burner experience with my mind and the “make art”. I know you do that very well!
Thanks for sharing this! Burning Man is such an intense experience and really reveals the layers of being vulnerable humans—to the weather and to each other. One thing I love about it is being forced to face some of the big questions. This last year I was with a new camp and the most wonderful people. But I was separated from my usual core group because of logistics and weather. So it really was a year that was more a retreat than a party. It felt depressurized in a weird interesting way. And since I didn’t have close friends driving an agenda I felt empowered and it reduced some of my usual anxieties. HA! Just realizing it was a real broken heart to art situation. I was sad my friends weren’t around, but I sure did learn a lot. Excited to see what you learn and explore and experience at your next burn, my friend. Loving you!
This all feels so relatable, Byron! The rejection cycle, but also the lube. Having tasted the rare high of publishing success, to then feel cast out into the creative wilderness without a roadmap to the next destination...it's a very specific isolation. I'm lost in this desert with you and I'm happy to have some good company on the way to the next oasis/orgy tent.
Haha thanks for making me smile my friend. Grateful to be on the journey with you. Your art and insight inspire me!!! Let’s hang again soon and plot our next moves!
Byron, thank you for this first post. As a semi-retired burner myself, fourteen years over the last two decades and longer, I found myself nodding along, recognizing so much of what you’re describing.
The broken heart of rejection is something every artist carries, whether it’s a novel that doesn’t find its publisher, a project that gets sidelined, or an industry that implodes around you (I’ve been navigating that last one lately in my own work in photography and animation). But I’ve always believed that brokenness is part of what makes us artists in the first place. It’s how we learn our own vulnerabilities, understand them more deeply each time we put ourselves out there, and eventually find the corner to go around the wall.
As for enlightenment at Burning Man, I’ve always been skeptical of seeking it in the grand gestures. I’ve had a meditation practice since I was a kid, and the moments that actually changed me on the playa were almost always the smallest ones. Being covered in hundreds of bugs. Sitting alone in the desert at dawn. A storm that destroyed our art project. Seeing it through the eyes of my boyfriend for his first time. The mixing of senses in ways I couldn’t have planned. Maybe that’s what enlightenment actually is, not a destination we should seek but a collection of tiny shifts that accumulate quietly, until one day we notice we’ve changed.
Creativity, consciousness, authenticity, all these feel like different words for the same practice: showing up, staying open, and being willing to be changed by what we find.
I’m grateful you’re building this space. Looking forward to learning alongside everyone here.
Yes and yes. Also yes. You’re brilliant. So with you. Enlightenment can only be now. Never then. And maybe best served in a dropper. We should have our own newsletter—microdosing enlightenment. Thanks for this!
You're such a great storyteller! I hate that so far your new novel has been rejected, but I love that it led to Byrontology for us cult followers. I'm curious if you've ever thought about doing a book of essays, I feel like that's what I'm already getting a glimpse of the possibility of with your writing here.
Donna you’re onto me! I’m be never done essays or memoir. Always fiction. But I love your idea and maybe in a wild world where so much seems fake there’s something special in bits of truth. I’m on it my friend!
Glad I became a Byrontoligist. Even the comments are interesting. I spend so much time working with my kids that I don’t work on myself. I hope I find some inspiration to get to some introspection here. I definitely want to read your Burning Man book. I love your writing. And Christie, WendeJacek and I can’t wait to see your play tonight. Hope to get a chance to say hello. Much love.
Hey friend can’t wait to see you later! So glad you’re here. Let’s inspire each other! I notice all the good you do in the world and I can’t wait to see how it comes back to you!
Thanks Byron. The play was amazing. You guys hit it out of the ballpark. It was an evening of joy and laughter. So good seeing you and Steven. Congratulations!
Great to see you too and more soon I hope!
Great post, Byron! Your story about ending up in the tent reminded me of the time I accidentally attended a rave.
I live in rural Northern California, so when my friend invited me to 'listen to some live music' at the Odd Fellow's Hall, a rave was not exactly what I had in mind. I arrived at the hall, where my teen cousin had been awarded an FFA award the week before, and was confused to find myself surrounded by flashing neon lights, an assortment of leather ensembles, piercings, hoola hoops, and the persistent, lingering smell of weed and patchouli. I was dressed in what I thought would be appropriately, a pair of khaki chinos and a mint green knit polo. I couldn't help but wonder, "How did I get here?"
That said, you learn to find joy in the strangest of situations, and when I tell you that after finding a heavy-duty pair of noise cancelling headphones (politely loaned by the Odd Fellow Hall Manager, who had brought a spare pare), I had a great time. Did I stick out like a mint green thumb? Of course! But I also had very in-depth conversations about life with the most unlikely people and found a swing dance partner who could follow just as well as he leads.
As for broken hearts, mine is still mending. Parents, am I right? They know the worst ways to love you and the best ways to hurt you. As I work through that, though, I seem to continually find bits and pieces of myself that I thought I had lost, so I have to be grateful for that, at least.
Thanks for the post, Byron! Can't wait until next week.
JACOB! Haha this is wild. I love it. The unexpected things are sometimes the most interesting. Aw man. Parents! (And really…. Their parents and their parents and their parents all the way back to the cave dwellers probably. Glad we’re working to try to elevate the chat. Loving you!
I could spout tablets on the spiritualist counter culture that desperately wants exposure and integration but is either too egotistical to let go of the story as only their own, or seeks outwardly for what they claim comes from within. I thought they would be excited to see their worlds expressed, after all it’s supposed to be healing and enlightenment. Too much identification with the culture kept them standing guard at a gate for which there is no key. Seems much like the way the world accepts them, only allow measured doses with sugar coating. Journalist approach is best with a sprinkle of trip report. Looks like what you’ve done here and wishing you the best! Even with leverage from the inside, I found it a difficult shell to crack.
One note on rejection - aren’t the best artists those who are ahead of their time? Keep working your craft, you’ll have things to return to. Blaze ahead!
LINDSEY YOU MADE MY DAY! Love this and love your insight!
I love everything about this, Byron! My broken heart is time slipping by, the world burning, and feeling like even when I find time outside of my overemployment to give a shit about something, it doesn’t make a practical difference to improve the big picture. The art is just doing the thing anyway, following the weird ideas that seem so obvious to me, even if I’m the only one who ends up enjoying it. Thank you for sharing the highly relatable NatGeo take on Burning Man! 💦🍫
Love you and love this! I should be learning from you! Glad to be following your brilliant thoughts here, friend. Excited for our adventure :)
Rejection and lube-covered hands are both the absolute worst. I'm sorry none of the publishers bit, but I have no doubt it'll find its home eventually. I hate that setback for your though.
I'm constantly tossing personal heartbreak into my work. All those icky inside feelings get tossed in and baked into my books. I've been working on one about a son and his dying mother taking a bucket list road trip, hoping to work through the loss of my mom, but it's been moving really slowly. One day I'll finish it. Today isn't that day, though.
I hope your Burning Man book finds its home one day. No one tells a story like you.
Oh Lance, I relate! Glad you're on the road and being honest about when the timing is right for you. I can't help but feel excited for you that you get icky inside feelings--such gold, so relatable. Glad we're connected :)