Beautifully written, Byron! Thanks for sharing these thoughts and especially the dog photos. They are healing.
To answer your q about turning heartbreak into art: my friend is having a birthday party soon where he wanted people to do a mini presentation on something they find fascinating, in front of all the other attendees. Despite my crippling fear of public speaking, i’m starting to draft a powerpoint presentation on how people who feel too much (and therefore feel paralyzed) can still have a tangible and long lasting effect on politics without making it their identity. It’ll be kind of an ambush because I bet most people are going to present silly stuff. But reading about how hopeless things are right now is the main way my heart keeps breaking, and I don’t know any other way to heal it than to look for purpose. Wish me luck!! 😬
I so appreciate your brave and creative voice, it resonates deeply . ❤️ It ain’t easy watching our moms go through health challenges. Sounds like your mom is a gem…
I can’t wait to hear about all of your other creative endeavors you mentioned when I see you at the end of next month. I WILL see you when I’m in town for spring break—— riiiiiight????? And maybe I’ll be lucky enough to meet Belle! Hugs my friend! XOXO
PS— When is the existential crisis happy hour??? I must mark my calendar! 😘
Byron, I read this on a 13-hour flight back from Portugal to LA and it caught me in exactly the right place. My parents are on the other side of the world, my mom just turned 70, dad 75, and we FaceTime several times a week so the distance rarely feels real. But your piece made it feel very real.
Not the depression part, but the distance part. The knowing that when that call comes, it won’t be a drive to Louisiana, it’ll be two full days of travel before I can even be useful. When my grandmother died I flew immediately from San Francisco where I was living at the time, and landed just in time to watch her go. It was one of the greatest gifts of my life. But it also reminded me how thin the margin is. Your line about collapse landed hard, not because I’m in it, but because I can feel the shape of it from here. Thanks for writing this one down.
Byron, I just listened to this podcast and was in tears by the last few minutes. It's all just so relatable and such a beautiful reflection. By the end you describe yourself as just an ordinary person but I would argue just the opposite - your deep understanding and ability to tune into the human experience are extraordinary. Thank you for sharing - I relate on every level!
This profound piece really hit home for me, and I'm sure it did for all subscribers who are or have been caretakers. I took away so much from this and identified with everything you said. Thank you so much for sharing. Peace and love
Certainly in my eyes, you are a Hero! You showed up, you stepped up and did what you could to help your Mom in a stressful situation. Lots has happened and I think it’s natural to experience intense feelings as you try to process it all now that you’re back home. Reading your story but also watching you baring your soul,it is obvious that you are a loving and compassionate person. Please take credit for trying to do your best as a superhero.
In order to be a Hero, you have to be a human who believes in humanity. And you are a superhuman. None of us want to get to the day when we have to make the decisions you had to make for your mom. But because you are a Superhuman, you are her HERO and she know it!
Making me blush. Thanks for the love. Just stumbling along. Glad my mom is so cool. And certain you see humanity the way I do. Lucky that you and I are connected :)
My dad died when I was young and I didn’t experience this on a direct parental front but I have with my grandparents (the people who raised me.)
Being present, obligated, and reliable doesn’t mean you aren’t supposed to feel anything else along with it. You are supposed to feel everything and that’s the thing with depression. People think you’re just sad. It’s so much more than that, I’m literally in a deep impression made by my feelings as a result of events around me and I can’t climb out.
Also, you can’t do it all, the helplessness is crushing. But, trying matters a lot. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
Wow I feel this. And I know you’re feeling it now in the thick of it. Hang in there! Sending so much love. So glad we’re in the world at the same time!
Beautifully written, Byron! Thanks for sharing these thoughts and especially the dog photos. They are healing.
To answer your q about turning heartbreak into art: my friend is having a birthday party soon where he wanted people to do a mini presentation on something they find fascinating, in front of all the other attendees. Despite my crippling fear of public speaking, i’m starting to draft a powerpoint presentation on how people who feel too much (and therefore feel paralyzed) can still have a tangible and long lasting effect on politics without making it their identity. It’ll be kind of an ambush because I bet most people are going to present silly stuff. But reading about how hopeless things are right now is the main way my heart keeps breaking, and I don’t know any other way to heal it than to look for purpose. Wish me luck!! 😬
OH FRIEND I LOVE THIS AND LOVE YOU!!! Blow their socks off! But no pressure haha. Your empathy and charm will shine no matter what. ❤️
I so appreciate your brave and creative voice, it resonates deeply . ❤️ It ain’t easy watching our moms go through health challenges. Sounds like your mom is a gem…
I can’t wait to hear about all of your other creative endeavors you mentioned when I see you at the end of next month. I WILL see you when I’m in town for spring break—— riiiiiight????? And maybe I’ll be lucky enough to meet Belle! Hugs my friend! XOXO
PS— When is the existential crisis happy hour??? I must mark my calendar! 😘
love ya friend! Yes hurry back!!! Sending invite soon :)
Byron, I read this on a 13-hour flight back from Portugal to LA and it caught me in exactly the right place. My parents are on the other side of the world, my mom just turned 70, dad 75, and we FaceTime several times a week so the distance rarely feels real. But your piece made it feel very real.
Not the depression part, but the distance part. The knowing that when that call comes, it won’t be a drive to Louisiana, it’ll be two full days of travel before I can even be useful. When my grandmother died I flew immediately from San Francisco where I was living at the time, and landed just in time to watch her go. It was one of the greatest gifts of my life. But it also reminded me how thin the margin is. Your line about collapse landed hard, not because I’m in it, but because I can feel the shape of it from here. Thanks for writing this one down.
My beautiful friend. I’m so happy we see each other. Grateful for you :)
I'm sure this is relatable to so many people, but why do we never talk about it? Thanks for opening your heart and our hearts!
That’s the TRUTH! More conversation about this and better care for our seniors and more care centers and caretakers! We’ll all be there one day
Byron, I just listened to this podcast and was in tears by the last few minutes. It's all just so relatable and such a beautiful reflection. By the end you describe yourself as just an ordinary person but I would argue just the opposite - your deep understanding and ability to tune into the human experience are extraordinary. Thank you for sharing - I relate on every level!
Oh wow friend. That’s kind of you. Warms my heart. I’m just a fellow human bumbling along. Grateful you’re with me :)
This profound piece really hit home for me, and I'm sure it did for all subscribers who are or have been caretakers. I took away so much from this and identified with everything you said. Thank you so much for sharing. Peace and love
Aw dear friend. Your big heart is where all your beautiful comedy comes from! Love you!
Certainly in my eyes, you are a Hero! You showed up, you stepped up and did what you could to help your Mom in a stressful situation. Lots has happened and I think it’s natural to experience intense feelings as you try to process it all now that you’re back home. Reading your story but also watching you baring your soul,it is obvious that you are a loving and compassionate person. Please take credit for trying to do your best as a superhero.
Aw Su. Thank you! We’re all in it together aren’t we. Glad we’re connected :)
Just saw a quick FaceBook photo showing you in my neighbourhood ~ Vancouver !! Welcome ! if you’re still here 😊
In order to be a Hero, you have to be a human who believes in humanity. And you are a superhuman. None of us want to get to the day when we have to make the decisions you had to make for your mom. But because you are a Superhuman, you are her HERO and she know it!
Making me blush. Thanks for the love. Just stumbling along. Glad my mom is so cool. And certain you see humanity the way I do. Lucky that you and I are connected :)
My dad died when I was young and I didn’t experience this on a direct parental front but I have with my grandparents (the people who raised me.)
Being present, obligated, and reliable doesn’t mean you aren’t supposed to feel anything else along with it. You are supposed to feel everything and that’s the thing with depression. People think you’re just sad. It’s so much more than that, I’m literally in a deep impression made by my feelings as a result of events around me and I can’t climb out.
Also, you can’t do it all, the helplessness is crushing. But, trying matters a lot. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
Wow I feel this. And I know you’re feeling it now in the thick of it. Hang in there! Sending so much love. So glad we’re in the world at the same time!
You are here. We are here. That is all we need. Love you.
Love you too! Thanks Cathy :)
Thank you for showing me authenticity. Such a beautiful piece about the human experience. Your pack is growing. Hugs and love
Lisa! This was a hard one—honor the experience enough? honor my mom enough? Ugh. Still not sure I nailed it. But we go on. Thank you for the love :)
There will be more to come. Keep sharing. You inspire me. We are out in the substack ether.
Read this with tears in my eyes. Caring for our aging parents is no joke. I'm in it as well. Thinking of you!
Oh wow my heart is with you friend. Thanks for this kind note. Means so much.